as promised … the macaroni and cheese recipe … (no photos, unfortunately, because it was eaten too quickly, which — if you think about it — should be the normal order of things …)

the tools

8 oz gruyere (feel free to use a little more)

8 to 12 oz extra-sharp cheddar (we go for the bigger flavor, so we use 12 oz. we also buy local new york or vermont cheese just ‘cuz we like to support the peeps … if you can find some other fabulous, funky cheddar, go for it … and then tell me about it!!!)

1 pint heavy cream (a lot of mac & cheese recipes make a roux … i’m cutting out that step and going straight for the jugular — literally and figuratively — with the cholesterol- and fat-laden heavy cream. you will definitely need 8 oz, but as you mix in and melt the cheese, you might find you need more.)

16 oz elbow macaroni (tip your hat to good health and at least make a ceremonial gesture by using whole-wheat macaroni.)

8-10 pieces thick-cut bacon

kosher salt (for boiling pasta)

freshly-ground pepper (to taste)

1 smallish to medium onion, finely diced (this is optional for onion haters like auntie loretta, to whom this recipe is lovingly dedicated and for whom it is loudly and proudly posted.)

cholesterol pills … a lot of them … keep reading, and you will see why …

the construction

preheat the oven to 400 degrees.

cook the bacon … you can do this on the stovetop OR you can do this in the oven … cover a jelly-roll pan in aluminum foil. put a rack in the pan. put the bacon strips on the rack, and stick the whole thing in a preheated 400-degree oven for at least 10 minutes … after 10 minutes, check it regularly until the bacon is done the way you like it … while the oven is preheating, boil your water for the pasta in a big pot.

while the bacon is cooking, cook and drain the pasta in salted water. (make sure to cook the pasta al dente … you’re going to be stirring it with the cheese later and then baking it off … if you overcook it in the beginning, you will have paste in the end … blech …)

while the pasta is cooking, grate the gruyere and at least 8 oz of the cheddar.

when done, take the bacon out of the oven (or off the stovetop heat). set the bacon aside and carefully pour about half of the bacon grease into a saute pan (or pour off half the grease from the pan in which you cooked the bacon).

heat the saute pan on medium heat. start sauteeing the onion. drain the pasta and return to pot (no heat on burner). pour in the first 8 oz of heavy cream. stir cream and pasta. fold in cheese. as the cheese melts in the hot pasta and cream, use your judgment about whether you might like more cream or more cheddar … it’s your call regarding texture. we like about 12 oz of cream with 8 oz of gruyere with 12 oz of cheddar … don’t forget your onions while you are stirring your macaroni.

when you have your macaroni and cheese at the texture you like, stir in some freshly ground pepper and leave it alone while you finish the onions. if you find the cheese didn’t completely melt with the radiant heat from the pasta, turn the burner on LOW until you are happy with the “melty-ness” (and i mean L-O-W … you really don’t want a mess of burnt cream, pasta, and cheese.) …

your onions should be nice and greasy and translucent by now … quickly rough-chop or crumble the bacon and add them to the onions. when the bacon bits are reheated, turn off the burner.

in a casserole, dump some of the macaroni and cheese. you will likely have a lot of mac & cheese left in the pot (depending on the size of your casserole) … THIS IS A GOOD THING!!! if you need further explanation, then you probably shouldn’t be reading this recipe in the first place. (seriously, this recipe makes a lot; though, worry not! leftovers can be easily frozen.)

cover the mac-&-cheese-laden casserole with the onion and bacon mixture … or if you are loretta, you skipped the onion rigamarole and simply crumbled the bacon 10 minutes ago …

stick the whole damn thing in your oven (still at 400 from cooking the bacon or preheating)

bake it for at least 20-25 minutes … what you are looking for is bubbling cheese and cream … browning edges and further crispiness on the bacon front …

take your cholesterol pills and enjoy …