two days before didion was due (and 12 days before he actually showed up), steven and i went to an ibm-er soiree. it was quite enjoyable, and oddly enough, i was not the only preggo woman there … two others were in attendance, but rest assured, i was the MOST preggo at the time.

anyway, one of steven’s good friends, alan, was there sharing some parenting wisdom — of which we were most definitely in need — and he summed up parenting responsibility into two categories:

1. transportation

2. containment

noting that just about everything we do with the kid will involve some consideration and assessment of each of these. to employ each of these efficiently and safely is to provide efficient and safe care for the kid.

and, boy, was he spot on. leave it to a scientist to break it down so clearly and accurately. EVERYTHING we do with didion involves critical calculations, crack logistical planning, revolving around how we are going to get the kid from point a to point b and how we are going to carry him doing same.

unsurprising, i have thought a great deal about this matter. in fact, it is no exaggeration to say that i am ALWAYS thinking about it. if i happen to be focusing in the fore on some other non-didion-related issue or activity, rest assured, i remain CONTINUOUSLY thinking about transportation and containment … a sort of background program perpetually running in my OS … but as accurate as alan was, his summary was not entirely complete.

i think, though, i have found a way to expand on alan’s construction without sacrificing any of the elegance in brevity.

enter the venn diagram:

effective parenting

i think steven would agree with me that from the nanosecond didion popped out, we have been continually addressing issues of transportation, containment, AND waste management in a universe of FEEDING …

and it’s not about simply transporting and containing the PERSON of the kid … it’s about transporting and containing all of the necessary EQUIPMENT of the kid … consider it the transportation and containment of the transporters and the containers … the car seats and the strollers and the clothing and the diapers and the EXTRA clothing and the EXTRA diapers and the food and the formula …

then there is the mythical intersection of all sets in the feeding universe … the transportation and containment of the kid to and on the changing table with the simulateneous critical containment and transportation of the poopy diaper either immediately pre or immediately post (and occasionally during) food consumption.

waste management has always be a major component of our daily activities … first it was addressing the very special variable that is explosive newborn poop. ( “explosive” cannot be emphasized enough.) now didion is eating solid food, it is readying oneself for meeting the new stealth poop head-on … you don’t know when it’s coming … it might have already arrived … you must be ready for all eventualities when opening any diaper.

but i digress … the point is to simply and clearly illustrate effective parenting. and i realize i’m missing all the stuff about unconditional love and incredible, indescribable joy and purposeful living that being a parent brings … but those things are invariant and involuntary … like breathing or a beating heart … much, much bigger than both steven and me … not things that we “do” but things that we “are”. today’s illustration is about parenting activities, not parenting essence.